Escalation
by egolagoon
Summary: I insist on writing nothing before 3 am. Forgive me for any mistakes - mistakes that aren't this entire fic, I mean. [2:41] ISaac(worst): fight me shiroe [2:42] ISaac(worst): u won't
1. Fight Me

[2:33] shiro: ill fucking stab u im rippd

[2:35] NNAOTSUGU: wrecked

[2:36] Henri: Shiroe please remove yourself from the friendship circle.

[2:38] NNAOTSUGU: (airhorns)

[2:41] ISaac(worst): fight me shiroe

[2:42] ISaac(worst): u won't

[2:45] loyalninja: D:

[2:47] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Kill him.

[2:49] Marinnamonroll: guys we need to chose a date+time

[2:52] shiro: you can take my life but you cant take my admin privileges

[2:53] ISaac(worst): 1v1 me

[2:54] loyalninja: DDD:


	2. Your Point?

[3:31] NNOATSUGU: henrietta is wear I can't take this guy anywhere

[3:32] shiro: Whats your problem? You're the one who wanted to start a band, I was just networking for you.

[3:34] NNOATSUGU: that guy was definitely a drug dealer

[3:34] shiro: Well that's just your prejudice to bear.

[3:35] NNOATSUGU: HE WAS BUYING NOTHING BUT SPAGHETTI AND SAFETY SCISSOR

[3:36] NNOATSUGU: S

[3:37] shiro: And we were buying forty five boxes of crunchy nut cornflakes, your point?

[3:41] Henri:

[3:41] Henri: I was wondering where those came from.


	3. Adults

[6:24] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: im too drunk o drive

[6:25] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: some one pick me up

[6:27] loyalninja: Well, at least three one responsible adult among us.

[6:27] loyalninja: there's*

[6:28] shiro: ah, yes. The one wasted outside of some shitty club at six am in the morning.

[6:31] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Shiroe shut t up

[6:33] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: it was mosty lmodiocre actually

[6:34] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: piss beer

[6:34] nicehiar: You're downtown, right? I can pick you up.

[6:35] nicehiar: I'll drop you at Shiroe's.

[6:35] shiro: don't b ring him h e

[6:35] shiro: fuck.

[6:37] shiro: you're parasites. All of you.

[6:38] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: k

[6:39] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: but hurry

[6:39] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: ii just punch ed a guy n he is bleeding I thin k

[6:40] nicehiar: What?

[6:40] shiro: RESPONSIBLE ADULT

[6:41] loyalninja: Oml. Is he okay?

[6:41] I recommend kicking him in the sack while he's down, champ

[6:42] nicehiar: Christ man I'm on my way


	4. Okay But

[3:10] NNOATSUGU: hey u know what we should do

[3:10] NNOATSUGU: start a band

[3:12] loyalninja: Why.

[3:13] Marinnamonroll: I don't think any1 here can play an instrument...

[3:14] shiro: sounds like a great idea all in favour of naming it fuck me say i

[3:14] ISaac(worst): i

[3:14] NNOATSUGU: vetoed

[3:15] Henri: I

[3:15] loyalninja: I.

[3:16] Shouryu: um I hahah

[3:16] NNOATSUGU: vETOED

[3:17] shiro: Fuck Me it is then.

[3:18] Marinnamonroll: OMG


	5. Everyone's A Plane And Nothing Hurts

[12:56] ISaac(worst): so i was just thnking

[12:56] ISaac(worst) about how i hate all things

[12:58] shiro: Understandable. Life is pain.

[12:59] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Hope is pain.

[12:59] Henri: Love is also pain.

[1:00] NNOATSUGU: i am sexually stimulated by fucking with people for these very reasons.

[1:01] shiro: Naotsu too soon.

[1:03] nicehiar: fucking

[1:03] nicehiar: why are you all awke right now

[1:04] nicehiar: don't any of you have a stable income to manage

[1:19] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Someone's just jealous that they don't frequently experience the terror of having an existential crisis, forcing them to reevaluate their own life and the lives of those around them, and eventually come to the conclusion that everything we dedicate ourselves to is nothing more than a construct. It's just an imaginary goalpost, something we invent, desperately trying to fill the void of purposelessness that stretches before us like a fucking dark abyss - like a black hole, a crack in the lies we tell ourselves that exposes everything we fear and despise about the human beings we are. We're slaves to our paranoia, animals more than any rat will ever be. We do despicable things to save ourselves from the weight of who we are, and the strings ripping our souls apart from the strain of being too giving, too compassionate, too honest and weak to go it alone. You and I are selfish creatures, caught in the tide of a selfish infection as it spreads and festers. We'll never be able to take as much as we give. We won't be able to sustain ourselves forever. Our hunger will always be our undoing - human beings were born to die unfulfilled, and unsatisfied. We are born to function as the vehicle for our own misery. No one lives to see happiness, and no one ever will.

[1:24] Henri: Amen.

[1:31] ISaac(worst): so this is why u and that british chick broke up.

[1:33] nicehiar: i regret all the choices I Ve ever made that have led me t meet you al l

[1:33] nicehiar: I regret the m so, so much


	6. Shouryu Is Like Ten

[1:40] nicehiar: Hey guys, I just read a study that says one in four American highschool kids are gay.

[1:42] loyalninja: William, nobody here is a highschooler.

[1:42] NNOATSUGU: coughshouryuhackcough

[1:43] But that must still apply after you've finished your education too, right? Assuming that most everyone who goes to high school in America stays as a permanent citizen.

[1:44] loyalninja: And to assume so would obviously be to assume WRONG. Are you or are you not a scientist?

[1:45] NNOATSUGU: it's me. im the gay one, im sorry to be forcd t break the news on suchs Horst notice

[1:45] shiro: I have a green card, permission to do something more productive than trying and failing to figure out who's fucked who?

[1:46] loyalninja: Wait, what? What are you talking about? No. Permission denied, dammit!

[1:46] NNOATSUGU: oh come one this is easy I know shiro has slept with ever ybody in this chat room at lest once, so that's half the mystical solved alredyd

[1:48] shiro: Woah, woah, that's quite the accusation.

[1:49] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: can confirm, first hand witness.

[1:49] NNOATSUGU: okay mabe not Shouryu he's like ten

[1:49] nicehiar: (Hahah I knew it.p

[1:50] shiro: I'm feeling awfully confronted,

[1:50] NNOATSUGU: and alright I don't know abto katcookie over there but pretty much every else

[1:51] loyalninja: Naotsugu you need to learn to keep your goddamned mouth shut


	7. Metaphorically

[9:13] ISaac(worst): I would kill a man for pancak es rite now

[9:14] Henri: I would kill you for some pancakes right now.

[9:14] ISaac(worst): wat wait

[9:15] Henri: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

[9:15] Henri: So anyway - are you free at ten?


	8. Look Man

[1:01] Shouryu: hey, Henrietta

[1:02] Henri: ?

[1:02] Shouryu: don't you think that twenty butterfly hair ties is enough? I mean, they're really not going to run out any time soon :'D

[1:03] Henri: Look, Shouryu. Here's the situation.

[1:04] Henri: (1) I have an excess of butterfly accessory rainbow hair ties.

[1:04] Henri: (2) There are only so many days a week I can wear them as fashionable bracelets without suffering serious wardrobe casualties.

[1:05] Henri: (3) Since Crusty started cutting his hair you're the only one I can turn to to share this great burden with.

[1:06] Henri: (3.5) Damn that bastard.

[1:06] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Freedom from oppression.

[1:07] Henri: (4) It's... it just means a lot to me that someone's using them. I understand if you don't want to help. I really do. They're only the last mementos I have left from my childhood, you know? They don't mean anything to you. It's fine. I get it.

[1:08] oh man, no, it's totally fine! I think theyre really nice and its so kind of you to let me use them! ill wear them whenever u want!

[1:09] Henri: Aw, you're such a sweetheart. Thank you very much.

[1:11] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: This is the beginning of the end. It's a slippery slope from here on out. I'll meet you on the long road to hell, buddy.

[1:12] Shouryu: ?


	9. And Then We Got McDonalds

[9:07] nicehiar: Jesus lord almighty - did anyone here know that Isaac can fucking sleep standing up? I nearly stabbed him with a damn fork!

[9:08] NNOATSUGU: yeah thatguy can pass out an ywhere

[9:08] NNOATSUGU: cookie sent him to ER hes cared her so much once

[9:09] loyalninja: He deserved it for falling asleep right in front of the back door, narcoleptic jerk.

[9:10] NNOATSUGU: shiro and henri we're out so crusty had to to ddrive us down to he hospital at 2am

[9:11] NNOATSUGU: t hnurse gave me a sticker

[9:11] NNOATSUGU: it was great

[9:12] nicehiar: Actually it sounds pretty awful...

[9:13] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: No, you're right. It was the worst. I still have stains on the backseat of my car.

[9:14] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: Isaac is my least favourite mutual acquaintance/housemate.

[9:15] shiro: I, personally, had a wonderful time.

[9:16] loyalninja: You weren't eve n there!

[9:17] shiro: No, but I did get to visit him the next morning and laugh.

[9:17] shiro: All in all, cool day for Shiroe.

[9:18] NNOATSUGU: an then we got mcdonallds and everyone as happy.

[9:21] nicehiar: I just... I'm amazed that you can all live together the way you do. It really blows my mind.

[9:21] shiro: Icecream and sexual favours.

[9:22] shiro: But mostly icecream.


	10. Wild Misa Appears

[11:53] mtMisa: So

[11:53] mtMisa: How's the harem?

[11:55] KrustyKrabHAhFUNNYJOKE: please don't call them that.


	11. Pillow Fort

[9:25] shiro: Alright

[9:25] shiro: Who did this

[9:26] loyalninja: One more step and you're dead, peasant.

[9:26] NNOATSUGU: finall your here shiroe get me a beer I ran out

[9:27] shiro: Get your own fucking beer I haven't even had breakfast yet

[9:27] shiro: Why am I still texting

[9:30] ISsaac(worst): what's going onn

[9:30] ISaac(worst): who's shouting downstairs

[9:32] ISaac(worst): why are u shouting

[9:33] ISaac(worst): pls stop what the fuck

[9:35] NNOATSUGU: DONT IGNORE

[9:35] NNOATSUGU: I KNOW UR MAKING PANCAKES

[9:35] NNOATSUGU: SHIROE

[9:35] loyalninja: feed us.

[9:36] NNOATSUGU: BRING THEM

[9:42] nicehiar: So cheryl hows Greg and the kids?

[9:43] shiro: sstop


End file.
